Serve

 Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you." -Hebrews 13:5 

The Lord has called me out on my selfishness and materialism. I value money and my time is scheduled around the making of money. It may not be apparent to others, but it is apparent in my heart. While I am working I calculate how much money I will be making that day. 10 minutes later I redo the calculations just to make sure I am right. I think ahead to the summer, or when warmer weather arrives, and I discern how much of my time I will be able to sacrifice in order to earn extra money through landscaping or other projects. I set money aside for schooling, because my pride has decided I will make it through school with no debt. And then I selfishly ponder on how I will spend the rest of my money... to fulfill my own unnecessary wants.

I believe it is important to have a plan and a budget. We are called to be good stewards of our money, and I think that includes thinking about the future. But I don't want it to be set in stone. If God calls me to give away all that I own... I want to do that. I want to give freely and joyously. There is no better place to be than in the will of God.

Yesterday as I walked through downtown Lancaster, Anna and I passed a woman begging for money on the side of the street. I did not even hear her at first, but Anna stopped to listen. It was raining outside, and my selfish, uncomfortable, human body desired to get inside, out of the cold and dripping rain. As we were about to order our lattes, the woman's requests were set on replay in my mind. She asked for a dollar. One dollar. And I hesitated. I HESITATED. Over one dollar. Seriously, one dollar, Sierra? Our order of lattes quickly turned into the purchase of a muffin for a special woman. A muffin for a woman who is dearly loved by a gracious King. We ran back out into the rain, praying that the woman was where we once saw her. When she saw the food, her elderly pale face and frail body rejoiced with a small smile and my heart hurt. I wasn't proud of what we had done. I wasn't satisfied. I was angry for the hesitation. For hours I regretted my response, and to this moment I wish we had invited her inside with us. I wish we had taken the opportunity to seek after her heart and share with her ours.
God has called me to give freely.
He has called me to give back what is not even mine.

If everything is Yours, I'm letting it go, God. It was never mine to hold.

What if I chose to serve... out of love?