Though your sins are like scarlet...

Experiencing His love and seeing His greatness is making me abhor and weep over the sinful nature that I cling to. So THIS is His answer to my prayer, "break my heart for what breaks Yours."

It's a different feeling and concept when I am weeping over the people I have wronged and my transgressions... rather than what has been done to me. It's like my selfish desires and needs have been abolished- praise the Lord! But I am immersed in grief. God, PLEASE FORGIVE THIS COLD AND RUSTED HEART. One event stands out above the rest...one from last semester. I need to admit my wrongs and express my remorse. My heart is begging for forgiveness and mercy. But I just don't know how. I have "apologized" so so many times...but for the wrong things! That was when I was wallowing amidst my sins. I would think that they expect my "sorry's" to be for the annoyance and waste of time and problems I caused. But no, it's much deeper than that. It's a secret that I cling on to that, until today, I was not able to even admit to my Lord who knows all things. This pain is unlike any other pain I have experienced. These tears are unlike any other tears that have fallen. I don't want to ever need to ask for this kind of forgiveness again. 

“Come now, let us reason together,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool." – Isaiah 1:18

Please, Lord. That is my prayer. Give me the opportunity to admit my wrongs, and help me to obey You and ask for her forgiveness. I need Your strength, God. I am scared. I am so so so sorry for hurting You.